confused
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i am so confused about brian and i. today nathan price asked why we broke up and brian goes i dont know. then he asked are yall just on a brake and he goes i dont know. then he asked me and i said i dont know dont ask me i didnt do it he did. so then nathen was like oh do you not wanna talk about this infrunt of your x-girlfriend. so he wispers in brian's ear why did yall brake up and brian wispers back i dont know and nathan rolled his eyes and goes gosh. i am so confused. i dont know if he is giving me false hope or if he really dont know. he told matt that he broke up with me because he liked me a whole lot and one day just didnt like me anymore. he told some other people its because i was always mad at him. i was never mad at him. then he told someone elts its because i told shandy he dont spend enugh time with me witch i never said. but if the only way he would take me back is to say i did and i am sorry i would do it in a heartbeat. i would do anythang for him to love me like he used to. it drives me crazy to see him flirt with other girls and know i cant say anythang cuz he isnt mine anymore. i hate seeing him go to the movies with other girls and know i used to be that girl...i still wanna be that girl. i cant staind that i am not that girl anymore. my bestfriend / boyfriend dont even care about me anymore. he says he still wants to be friends. i wanna be his friend but everytime i am with him it makes me thank about how we used to be. every thing he ever promised me ever thing he ever said to me. i am in love with someone who dont care. i dont know if i belive in forever love. i am not sure if i belived that there is somone out there for me. i thought brian was the right person for me but i guess i was wrong. i dont know why he wont just say why he brock up with me so i know if i should move on or not. i cant quite thinking about all the things we did together. it makes me wanna cry that it dont matter to him that there was so much before. i wonder how long he has been feeling the ay he did. i wish it didnt heart and that i didnt care anymore. but i care so much. one of these days i know i am going look back at our relationship and say that was just the begianing of it all. meaning the begining of all the pain boys really do bring. why cant i be like everyone in my family. everyone has married the first person they ever sirously dated in high school like....lindsey and jason they were togther from the 8th grade and then they got married....kandy and bruce they were together since 9th grade then got married well...kinda....brenda and tommy....tommy and debby....worren and taywonna....on and on. i wish that i could fix what ever i did between me and brian but i cant. he has made up his mind i only wish i knew what it was. i wish he would just tell me why. i hate that there is a billion resons i have heard that he said form a billion diffrent people. it sucks to be me. i am seriouse when i say that to. i wanna be somebody elts. my whole life i was tought if something is wrong with something work it out. i mean my kiki did with her husben my mom did with my dad so maybe thats why i wanna work out me and brian so bad. who ever gets him next is really lucky. i just wish it were me. m.wilson
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Wearing:red silo shirt & blue jeanes Drinking:sweet tea Eating:nothin Thinking:about the past Talking to:Kari Felling:sad Linking:http://holdmeimcute.diaryland.com |
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Play List >>Undistcoverd-Ashlee Simpson >>my best friend-Tim McGraw >>My Immortal-Evensence >>Broken-Amy Lee >>Over & Over-Tim McGraw & Nelly >>fall to pieces-Avril Lavign >>bless the broken road-rascal flatts |
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Bio my full name is Mika-Mae Wilson. but my friends call me Mika-Mae. im a 15 year old living in Durant.I have green eyes and brown hair w/ blond highlights, my friends say I look like my aunt Kandy. |
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Thanks Unique Designs d*land |